May 18, 2021
Meditation, Relationships & Emotional Intelligence
Many have attempted to answer the age old question: What is the secret to a happy marriage? Our guest on this week's episode of SecondWind, Bill O’Herron, reveals how we can enter relationships with a better understanding of ourselves, and sustain these relationships with emotional intelligence. What we take away from this conversation is a greater understanding of the significance our childhood plays in our romantic relationships, and the role that masculine and feminine energy play in the human experience.
Bill O’Herron is a corporate executive and practicing clinical social worker (weekends and evenings). He tries to use all the insights and experiences that he has garnered from the 46 countries he visited, his 34 years of financial sales management, 24 years of marriage and parenting 3 amazing daughters, 15 years of counseling clients, and most importantly his 8,500 hours (25 years) of meditation, to help his clients better understand themselves, deepen their relationships, and fully complete their lives. Bill grew up in NJ, earned a BA in English from Middlebury College and an MSW from Columbia Univ.
O’Herron has been researching self in relationships for 20+ years. All the work they have done shows that relationships fail for one single reason: a lack of understanding of one’s own emotions and reaction patterns created in childhood. His work with archetypes demonstrates also that relationships are not a single experience or dyad between two people, but are eight unique relationships occurring at the same time.
Three key concepts Bill uses which helps accelerate his client's work on themselves are Stand in the Fire, 2nd Law of Thermodynamics at Home, and Relatus.
O’Herron believes our marriages start in 4th grade, when our limbic-emotional body learned, absorbed, and inherited our parents’ lives and experiences, and that we are all actually married to our own old, unconscious emotions more so than to our spouse.
Bill believes that working on oneself, which will automatically improve the dynamics of all our relationships, is the most important thing in life, and that what we do right now in reaction to others echoes through posterity, changing who our grandchildren's children become.
“Women see the boy inside the man, and they see the man inside the boy-adult, and they’re trying to get him to wake up.” Bill O’Herron
What You’ll Learn from This Episode:
- A deeper appreciation for feminine energy
- Why Bill doesn’t initially ask people he counsels to love themselves
- The reason that women should observe their partner’s relationship with their mother
- Why men feel the need to hide their sensitivity
- How to balance your rationality with your emotions and gain emotional intelligence
- Why marriages between young people are more likely to end in divorce
- How experiencing heartbreak is a fundamental part of transitioning into manhood
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